NOTE: This is in serious discussions for a reason. Don't joke around in here, please.

This is sort of necessary, I get the feeling a lot of people are having a pretty bad run of things at the moment.

I guess I'll start with my situation. Right now, my doctor says I'm going through some sort of depression. It's sapping my energy and making it impossible to focus on things at times, and really messing with my study habits, personal life, and really a wide gamut of things in my life. The psychologist I see (who I don't particularly like, but that's neither here nor there) thinks it's probably rooted in residual mental trauma after all the stuff that happened last semester -- sort of a lasting impact from the shock of everything at once. Either way. I can't think of one class where I'm getting a particularly good grade. All Bs and Cs, with one of the Cs a legitimately low one. Very rough going for me right now in terms of summer opportunities -- can't get anything going with NBA front offices as of yet and pollsters are really hard to get in touch with. And the fact that I only have 14 months until my graduation is terrifying.

I don't particularly want to do medication for it, because I have always been quite against taking medication for mental problems after one of my high school friends completely ruined her psychological state (most likely for the rest of her life) through a doctor's incorrect prescriptions and the snowball effect that medication can cause with some people. And I am reasonably sure I will get over it eventually. It is not the most serious depression in the world, in my estimation, just a really horrible one for me right now. And I am not suicidal, so that's good. But this is definitely a terrible time for me despite the lack of particularly bad "bellwether" bad events that littered last semester. I feel rather helpless. I can't focus, can't concentrate, just can't seem to get things done. My old hobbies and enjoyments are less enjoyable than ever, and my schedule is so smurf packed that I don't have time to pick new things up. This weekend I went on a retreat that started off horribly but ended up really nice. It was very powerful. Made a ton of new friends, so maybe things are on the upswing. I'd be more positive about that if I hadn't woken up unable to get out of bed today from exhaustion, and missed my first few classes. Thank god spring break is coming up soon and I can go home and unwind.

But I'm also sort of terrified. Spring Break is beyond the halfway point. Less and less time to shape up.

Anyway. Share your stories, if you want. Or just talk about what sorts of crap is going on and we'll all offer our support. I know that I feel bad about any bad times my friends incur, and even if I only know most of you people through ~ The Internets ~, I still consider you all to be friends of a sort, and I hope all of you can use this topic to vent concerns and get a load off your chest. Or just post vague traces of your issues for some sympathy or whatever -- whatever floats your boat really. Hope everyone's on the ups soon.

I guess things are alright for me, especially when compared the huge emotional/academic hole I constructed for myself last year. I'd rather not have had to move to a new high school so late in my high school career, but that's not really anything serious.

Honestly though, medication can really help. I had zero motivation to get anything done last year, and I mean really basic things. I wouldn't get out of bed for days, just sleep and wallow. Then I went on meds for depression. It doesn't make your problems go away, but it makes life worth living on a daily basis. When you're on a more even keel emotionally, it's so much easier to fix other things -- like grades which are on a slippery slope to failure -- in life. Medication may not be for you, but it can certainly work.

Man, thanks for doing this Roffles. Sometimes I feel silly about the whole ~internetz friendz~ thing too, but then I remember that we all have a lot of stuff in common. Let's just say there are a lot of typical party boys/sorority girls at my school, and I can relate to you guys a lot better than I can relate to them. so yeah. putting that out there. That's the truth.

Roffs, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. A few years ago I had a similar thing happen, and I still haven't gotten over it completely. Things have generally gotten better and better, and I was fortunate to find someone who really helped me out in the long run, but yeah, I have those times (like recently). And I feel you on the medication thing. It's ridiculously easy for a doctor to mess up a prescription. That said, they can be very helpful if you find a doctor you can really trust. (edit: and I second what ADB said. They can help give you that boost so you can function until you can sort things out.)

Right now I just feel so overly stressed, and I can't focus when I feel this sad. I have a lot of stuff piling up and the pressure is really getting to me. My anxiety is almost leading to apathy, which is scary. Right now I feel pretty conflicted because I feel like I'm not cut out to do what I love or pursue my interests. I'm dealing with pretty standard run-of-the-mill dejection--not getting an internship, slipping academically, not doing well, etc--but compounded it's pretty crummy. and I don't cope well with this stuff when I already feel incredibly anxious/stressed/exhausted/etc.

Some may condemn support threads as unnecessary and stupid (Jonesy, perhaps?), but great job, Doc. I get how you guys are feeling, with everything weighing on you at once and all. It's crazy how that happens sometimes, but then again perhaps not so crazy considering all the crap we get ourselves into these days.
As for me, I'm not really in the depression boat, although there are certainly moments with a lot of that. I just recently realized that I'm probably not going to be able to make an English major work, considering how bad I've been at writing papers. I'm now starting to think about what I should target as a major and how I can make it all work. I'd considered an English major the best thing I could do for becoming a writer, and now that that's folding, I'm not entirely sure at all what I'm going to end up doing after college. The idea of suiting up being an everyday occurrence makes my blood run cold, and that's kinda staring me in the face. Having to go to work every day either in an office or a cubicle or places where I have to deal with people and suck up is one of my nightmares, but I'm having a hard time seeing how I could make anything else work
And this Friday I'll be quitting my band. I've realized that ever since we replaced our drummer, even though the new guy is better and really chill and all, it's not as fun as it should be. I'm not, in terms of skills, where I need to be for it to work, and I'm sick of my ideas being not their style (I'm more of a grunge/hard rock writer and player, whereas they're more punk/indie). Hence an "au revoir" to the band, and me bowing out of the music scene for a while.
The book I was writing is also stalling up somewhat. It's not even as good as I thought it was a month or so ago, and I still haven't written anything. It appears that my two favorite careers that I wished for, writing and music, are both drying up in front of me. I'm not particularly despondent about it though, probably partially because I can't quite picture it/realize what it means exactly. I just feel a little punch-drunk lately.

Some may by joking when they post in threads contained in the NOT Serious Discussion. I also get very little benefit from talking about problems. No talking cure for me. If it helps you, then go with it, but I reserve my right to be silly.

On the medication thing... I dunno guys, it kinda terrifies me. I remember talking with my friend here, whose dad is a biology professor at Vanderbilt, and he was talking about all the dangers of it. He said those drugs tend to also lead to a major increase in suicide rate and they mess with the chemistry in your brain, which is basically a really dangerous thing especially since we don't entirely know how the brain works. So just keep that in mind.

I guess we could all use a little support. I don't feel that down right now although I feel like there are a lot of ways I've regressed since high school ended and since I've come to Duke. I've lost basically all interest in the opposite sex beyond physical. I've stopped lifting weights and just generally waste a lot of time that I used to spend doing stuff. I sometimes don't care even about things I normally would care about. Basically the only consistent thing in my life is playing basketball every day so I'm pretty much just clinging to that and it has a sorta irrational hold on my happiness right now. I can't get motivated for anything in school until the situation is dire, and even then I have trouble caring. I really, really just want to get this semester over with and I'm pretty much banking on the stuff that sucks this semester being gone next semester, which is just a kinda crappy attitude in terms of enjoying my life as it's going now. I absolutely hate being eager for the future because the present just passes by and I know there's a good chance I'll wake up one day and I'll be 50 and wonder where it all went, like my dad and a million billion other people. Ultimately I guess my concerns really aren't that bad but still... I just don't feel right.

Uh... where to start. Yes they mess with brain chemistry, that's kinda the point. There is also a trend for people under 18 who have taken those pills and committed suicide. First, they were taking those pills because they were depressed in the first place, so suicide isn't that shocking to begin with, but studies have shown an increase in suicide rates (though how much the increase is I don't remember, it isn't too much iirc)
The main thing is you shouldn't just take the medicine, if you're depressed, get some form of therapy. Don't go in for the intensive psychoanalytical smurf, but some actual therapy can be even more effective then drugs, and therapy+medicine is obviously incredibly helpful.

For the record, my mom's a therapist, and I'm a psych major. I'm not completely talking out of my ass here.

tl;dr give medication a chance, but if it's bad enough for meds, get therapy too.

I went through a period of severe depression my junior year of high school, then my acadec team pulled me out of it and I got really active in the program and my score jumped 1000 points. It happened again this Christmas break, but worse. I was looking down the long, dark hallway of insanity. I don't really remember what pulled me out, I think it might have been the possibility of getting a full scholarship through AFROTC if I changed my major and got at least a 3.15 or so this semester.

the thing I was talking about earlier with the endangered species? they're trying to pave over the sandpits right across the road. that's where I do airsoft, that's where I go with SES. those pits are what are keeping me from snapping. I can't tell you how much they mean to me. I can tell a difference when I don't go out there for a while, I spend a lot of time in bed and skip classes, start getting depressed again. I really, really, really need those to stay there...

Here's a page on depression treatment, including some info on the safety of taking antidepressant medications. I know that it's supposed to mess with your brain chemistry, and I'm just saying that it's dangerous territory; some of those drugs can seriously alter your brain and again, we really do not know that much about the mind. I'm not doubting your opinion, Jonesy, I'm just saying it's the kind of thing you should give serious thought to, the same as using any kind of drug that can have such a powerful effect. I've read a lot of things arguing that Americans in general tend to be overmedicated, especially for things like depression, and it's just a scary proposition to take any kind of medication that alters the way your mind works. I'm not saying it doesn't work, and I'm not saying no one should do it... but just give it some thought. I know we're all intelligent people and we know how to do research, so I'm just advocating responsible thought (although it seems Katie and Roffles were already exercising it, don't really know who I was talking to, I guess just kind of a general warning).

This nifty Mac application helped me quite a bit this quarter: http://macfreedom.com/ - as a NY Times writer put it, it's like "locking the refrigerator and throwing the key away."
I'm sure there's a PC equivalent somewhere.
Just throwing that out there. I read the above posts, and it sounds like some of you have far more problems, but I hope this helps in some way.

I agree fully with Jonesey on the meds issue for a couple reasons, first that they do help a huge number of people through depression in concert with talk therapy, second; I'm one of them. My little episode (I don't know if it exists on this board, or at least what I posted here) or what have you happened last year and led to me dropping out for a semester to work and try and re-order my life a bit, and for the most part it's been much, much better.

I never really followed through with therapy though, for me I went on meds and stayed on them for a few months, and I've been much better since. I guess this probably has the negative side effect of never really learning how to cope with those days. Last week I missed most of my classes because of illness and a stressful incident, it scares the hell out of me. I do not want to fall back in to that pit. It's so easy to slide in, and the cost in time and relationships was incredible to climb out. Most people I suppose wouldn't think to heavily on missing 4 classes, it's a speedbump... but to me it's the same thing that happened last year.

I can't let that happen again, won't. I'm a better person than I was then.


I hope you all can make it through your own troubles, it does get better, you just have to take hold of your own life and direct it.

Seconded. Really true.



That's the thing I've always felt. There is no easy solution, I don't think, and though I certainly have a way to deal with stuff that comes up for me, I'm sure it's not healthy. I feel, in many ways, a lot like TheWerg. I feel like I'm doing little more than perpetuating my existence, and nothing that I've looked for has really helped me connect with things in the way that I've always wanted to. I don't feel depressed, but there's a lust for life I can't be sure I feel.

I'm surrounded by some really fantastic friends who are in every way brilliant, fun, motivating, enjoyable people, but I just don't have the confidence to connect with anyone on a deeper, friendlier level for reasons I can't explain. I never can feel comfortable with people who I enjoy being around, and who enjoy being around me. The fact that a lot of them are so continually understanding and inviting is so, so appreciated, but I still feel like I'm not doing something quite right. I guess I'm afraid of trying to do things, and afraid to care about things. I just get the feeling sometimes that I'm doing things inauthentically, or not doing anything at all, when I should just go be myself.

New personal remedy for the blues in the morning: get ready while listening loudly (optional) to Rhapsody in Blue. No joke. It works!

I usually go with either Pomeroy, or random ska.
you could also go with this band (they're friends of a friend etc)
http://www.myspace.com/theheatmachine
"I just want to have a good time" is an appropriately bouncy/happy song.

So, I know most of you are college age and such, and so it seems best to first say that I’m an adult (45-ex deca coach, check what's going on from time to time) and have had a long history of experience with depression and mental disorders. Not my own issues, my husband’s. Even when we first met at age 21 he had depression, which increased in severity to the point of a serious breakdown in his later 20s. It was at this point that I demanded he investigate medicine, and after much trial and error, (finding what combination worked best for him particularly), he has remained on meds to this day. It also turns out that major depression was not the only – and perhaps not even the primary – diagnosis: OCD is actually much of his trouble. We were both psych majors, and we both are familiar/experienced with therapy, and he has a deep understanding of biochemistry. So, given that background, here is what I know/what I think.
1) The cause of increased suicides on meds is generally thought to be caused by the gap between feeling just good enough (motivated/capable of taking action) to act on your suicidal feelings and the moment when the meds actual begin to stabilize your moods. Most suicidal feelings occur in people so depressed that they cannot make the coherent plans to enact the suicide, or who are nearly paralyzed by their depression. Add meds, they feel more capable of taking actions, putting plans together etc, but still feel horribly depressed. That’s the window within which the suicide is more likely to occur. This is the state when therapy and support of others also can make it possible to delay acting long enough for the positive effects of meds to kick in. It is important to note that many people never feel truly suicidal despite feeling crushingly depressed, and even those who occasionally ‘entertain’ thoughts of suicide never take the slightest step towards acting on those thoughts. So it is by no means a sure thing that you will be a victim of this peculiar paradox. (in fact, I think it is quite rare, statistically) Just wanted to put that much of what I know out there.
2) Medicine has literally saved my husband’s life, and our relationship, and made it possible for him to function. Some remnant of that do-it-yourself/only the weak need help attitude so prevalent in American culture haunted him (and still occasionally does) – why can’t he be “strong enough” or have “enough will power” to just deal with it? How many of us would say that about medicine for diabetes or for cancer? Why don’t you just “snap out of it” or “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”/get a grip/be a man blah blah. ALWAYS remember that major depression/OCD and other such disorders are physiological in nature – it is about chemistry. Just like diabetes or other physical diseases. As such, it requires medical intervention. Therapy can help, especially in making transitions, but often times, after a certain amount of the ‘talking cure’, you realize it won’t cure you at all. Therapy is best suited to ‘fix’ things like dysthymia – depression based on specific events or life stages (like divorce, marital troubles, job or major life changes, etc). (oh, and if you don’t like your therapist, change if you can--a bad therapist or one you don’t like is of little use to you.) He has found that medicine, with the occasional therapy booster during times of other upheaval, has made some sort of normal function possible. In the past, when he felt most “well” and happy whilst on medicine, he would decide that he no longer needed the ‘crutch’ of medicine and would stop taking his. A few weeks later, he would have a mood crash or even a more serious breakdown. It is not just a crutch to get by – it is a necessary medicine for his brain to work sufficiently like other ‘normal’ people’s so that he can function day to day. He has, after many very dramatic and dangerous downward swings when he tried to stop meds, realized that they will be with him always. Just like a diabetic on insulin. However, he also has to adjust which medicines and how much, depending on his needs, changing body chemistry, etc.
3) All this being said, you might take some comfort in knowing that the sense of apathy, the difficulty in functioning, the sense of uncertainty about what you thought your future would be/will hold, and so forth…is something almost every young adult goes through during their college years. Especially highly intelligent kids with a sense that they MUST accomplish big things, or get only outstanding grades in every subject, and be creative, artistic, engaged, politically aware and active, etc. There is such a strain on you at such a vulnerable age to know what you want and go get it aggressively, when in reality, as an individual, you might just need some time to work out what you REALLY want instead of what you THOUGHT you wanted when you were 18. Or what you parents want for you. Or what society seems to think you should be. Or what everyone else seems to have going for them (but don’t you notice how many of you have very similar anxieties about who you are/where you’re going/how fast you’re getting there –are you good enough, rounded enough, having enough fun, smiling like everyone else…..kinda makes you think that maybe everyone else is just as confused and struggling as you but perhaps is hiding behind a mask – or those that just plow through life blithely just aren’t thinking deeply about such issues – they’ll have their crisis at midlife, instead of at 23 or 27 –there is even a psyche diagnosis “Crisis of Young Adulthood” wherein one is depressed/anxious/stressed/frightened and questions their direction/goals/accomplishments, suffers periods of depression of varying severity, etc.) So for some of you, it may not be major depression, but that stage most intelligent young adults go through when they question themselves and find themselves (of course) lacking. This, too, shall pass. But it doesn’t mean that therapy or short term medication might not make the going a little less rough.
So many of you demand SO much from yourself, have set the bar so high, and perhaps unreasonably expect to have it all together before you even know what ‘it’ you want to have ‘together’ My advice in this would be to see these feelings as a wake up call. Perhaps you need to see that you have a genuine need for medical intervention, and may for the rest of your life. Perhaps you need to cut yourself some slack – realize you aren’t perfect and that this isn’t a movie version of some impossible perfect existence. Maybe you need to reconsider what you thought your life goals were –after all, how wise is an 18 year old? Most of us don’t become who we really are until the mid 20s or later. When I was 25, I finally had an ‘aha’ moment that I was just then really becoming an adult. I cannot tell you how very many people within my social/acquaintance circle changed majors midway through when we realized that where we were planning on going educationally and vocationally would not make us happy. I know there is tremendous pressure – financial and otherwise – to finish college in four years. But what if that degree becomes a meaningless piece of paper leading to a job we hate every day for the rest of your lives? Hell, maybe part of the problem is that you are simply grossly sleep-deprived and eating poorly. Seriously, this is a real problem and does lasting and serious damage to your brain, body, and is well known to cause mood disorders.
Finally, the reality of it is that life is rarely about pure happiness, and is more about being content. Good enough. I know that sounds horrible to young people who live such intense emotional lives – but the cost of all that intensity is generally too much to sustain. Compromises must be made to meld your life with others, and to meet internal needs and practical needs at the same time. Take some serious thought to what you would enjoy (not necessarily love unreservedly or only feel ‘great passion’ for – because the things that you are passionate about change as you get older too) doing for 70 hours every week of every year of your life. That’s what adulthood is: doing something you care enough about, and feel is worthwhile, and makes you content, every day, year in, year out, while building relationships. And even then, most people find that the birth of their first child makes even that entirely irrelevant: nothing is more important than that child, and making a happy home for it.
So, for what it’s worth, there is my adult-person’s 2 cents. I can tell you that I have been through some hellish times with my husband, as he has gone through some times so hellish that it is hardly comprehensible he made it through to the other side. But he has, we have. Be patient. Think it out. Talk to a professional (why not, after all). Take whatever medicine might help stabilize your situation or your brain chemistry. Know that you are not alone, and that much of what you’re suffering is likely to pass away as you get a little older, especially if you can learn to accept your own flaws and limitations and realize college life is very little like real life. (In fact, I sometimes think that having had to work full time and go to college part time saved me a lot of heartache – gave me perspective, made me realize not everything was riding on classes and college and college life.) Anyway….done now.

Your first point is exactly what I was talking about in my post, though you put it a little more intellectually than I did.
When I have time to read all that I'll post a longer reply.

I have so many projects going on right now that my brain can't focus on one of them without feeling guilty for not doing another one at the same time. I have to write a paper this week which profiles a specific infectious disease and then includes a summary of a case study, but my professor has rejected all of my ideas and not provided any actual guidance/advice. This paper is hugely important to my grade in the class, and I have seen him 3 separate times about it. Every time I ask if he can just give me an example of what he wants, and every time he tells me he was planning on going out for a smoke, so can we make this quick. Sorry, professor, I pay tuition so that you can _teach_ me, not so that you can smoke when you should be working with your students.

And then, of course, everything will come to a crashing halt after next week... for a little while... and then pick right back up again. I'm really glad I won't be going straight into a graduate program.

Grumbles.

We all go through periods of time when things are going remarkably well and other times when they are not. I am totally opposed to the meds thing. The warnings on the TV commercials and elsewhere should be enough to scare people away from putting unnecessary chemicals in their bodies. Strenuous physical exercise, in my case mountain biking, does wonders as far as one's physical and mental health. A diet that includes plenty of veggies, fruits, and whole grains can also help. But we all have to realize that life can be a roller coaster and our ability to successfully navegate the ups and downs makes us stronger.

Slightly off topic, but I have to ask, are you opposed to medication in general, or just the anti-depressant stuff we were talking about?

I try to avoid even taking ibuprofen for my aches and pains.

Dr. Roffles, you should come to CA to see our State competition and go mountain biking with us.

What about medicinal use of sunglasses? I am pretty sure that's your actual drug of choice.

Medication helped me stabilize back in 1997. I had a talking cure then, as well. I had been struggling with depression since 1980 or so without knowing it until 97. I think I had a breakthrough in the way I saw things in 2004 or so. Since then, I still have depressive episodes, but I can get through them with some mental discipline.

What Abuelo said about exercise and changing the diet is spot on for long-term treatment. Tell yourself that when you don't feel like exercising is the time you need to exercise the most, then act on it. Walking is exercise, too, so feel free to do that. Getting rid of processed food and going after fresh fruits and nuts and vegetables is a good thing. Sometimes, depression can be a function of an allergic reaction to some crap you're eating. Try a new palate of flavors and see what happens.

In general, caffeine and theobromide are bad for depression - so cut out sodas, coffee, and chocolate for a while. That helps me a LOT when I feel depressional changes in my mind.

Discussing your issues is also very good. It's a form of therapy. Here, it's group therapy and it can work out if you open up and let it work in you. There is an element of faith there, I'm not gonna lie, but it's an element of faith worth having. If you believe the depression will win, no matter what, then the depression wins through lying. If you believe that you can overcome depression, one day in the future, then you win and the truth shall set you free.

It took me 24 years or so to totally come to grips with my problems. Your mileage may vary, but set your expectations for a long-term solution and you won't get bummed out over short-run glitches.

I confess, I am addicted to sunglasses.

Back on topic, exercise, adequate sleep, and a healthy diet go a long way to improve one's outlook.

I understand your addiction. I can't wait until my new sunglasses are ready.

Oh very yes on the adequate sleep part. Before you do ANYTHING drastic, be sure to get a good night's rest. Not too much sleep, either. That messes a body up.

That would've been fun. Sad that I wasn't able to do so. Also, I too avoid ibuprofen for aches and such. I think of ibuprofen as a "last case scenario" sort of thing. I try to only take drugs when I have a diagnosable illness where there are medications specifically targeting my illness or malady. Of course, that's partly where my problems here come to a head. I have a diagnosis, I have a prescription, but I don't know if I accept the diagnosis or accept that the prescription will actually work.

Just a bit of an update on my situation. I had my med-eval today. The doctor seemed to think I exhibited way more symptoms than I think I do (like when she put me down as having "suicidal thoughts" because I had a vivid dream where I was murdered recently, and refused to consider that she miiiight be overreacting to the dream a little) and gave me a prescription, saying it was my decision whether I fill it or not. She also set up a blood panel to test for thyroid imbalance, since my mom's side of the family has major thyroid problems that can certainly cause depressive symptoms. I think I'm going to wait for the blood panel, because I don't particularly want to go to medication yet.

Right now life is really sucking though. Two midterms and a quiz tomorrow -- totally unprepared for 2/3 of those. Also some Stat homework due later that isn't done. So much work to do, so difficult to get through it all. Also applying for the few research assistant spots that are left and trying to nail down something this summer is very smurfing important since I'm graduating in barely over a year. While I understand that the risks aren't that huge for the medication I got prescribed, I am not a guy who enjoys taking risks. Devil you know over the devil you don't sort of thing. It's difficult, though, and I really dunno what exactly I should do. I suppose I'll just have to figure it out. Tomorrow's going to be an awful day for my grades, most likely, but I suppose at least things will be a bit less stressful after it's behind me. Might end up dropping my math class, tho. It's not looking like getting a B or an A is possible and the stress that comes from that class might be getting to me a bit... :\

We should start an "I BELIEVE IN DOC ROFFLES" meme a la Mike Rollins. Just fur teh lulz. Quick! Photoshoppers! To the Bat-Airbrush!

Just remember: never tell a suicidal depressive to "just hang in there!"

It's OK. I can tell that joke. I deal with depression.

I'll see your bad psych joke and raise you mine,
"Q: What's it like being bipolar?
A: It has it's ups and downs"

My buddy Ryan Perrio tells this one (BTW, Ryan will be appearing with John Tole tonight at the Addison Improv here in the Dallas area - show starts at 8PM):

They told me happiness is just around the corner.
Great.
It's hiding from me.

Welp tonight I had the weirdest depressive attack I've ever had.

I relived my grandmother's wake.

Damnit.

I had a bit of a depressive sting last night, but realized I was really tired and that I should probably go to sleep instead of letting myself indulge in the depression. It was hard to block out, but I did, got to sleep, and felt great in the morning.

Being aware of physical circumstances contributing to depressive states is important in managing depression.

I felt a tad depressed, but then I went outside into the sun and read a book. Still depressed but now I have a killer tan.


Actually no, I'm still pale, but no longer mopey. However, I am extremely bored.

Read "The Grapes of Wrath". It's a fascinating book.

And now we've come full circle, as I find reading The Grapes of Wrath depressing . . .

I have a lot of experience with depression; not in myself, but with parents and other significant relatives. Just to add my two-cents worth, although I started out philosophically opposed to meds for a variety of reasons, I have come to see the enormous benefits of using the correct mix of drugs. They are usually not a panacea in-and-of themselves and do have side-affects; however, in many of the hard-core cases that I have personally dealt with the alternatives could have easily led to either (1) a total shut-down of a person's life (apathy on steriods), or (2) death. So, meds beat choice (1) or (2) all to heck.

When life gets me down, I delve into my work, which usually translates into me helping others with their problems (usually, my students) or really teaching a concept well or really motivating my team to study and learn, etc.

Online episodes of Top Gear can help chase away the blues.

I've been in a rut for the past month. It's been a bit more than just a rut, though. I've been really down for a while now. Every once and a while I've had a lot of fun, but more often than not I'm left with lots of feelings of self-loathing, anxiety, stress, etc. I hope I can make it to the end of this week.
At the beginning of the semester, I thought i was ahead of the game. I thought I was totally capable of doing anything, and I felt confident about schoolwork, research, my plan... but then it really went downhill. Two professors have already demolished my self esteem, and they're too stuck in their own elite world of academia to realize that what they say is extremely hurtful. I'm at the point where I freak out and cry just about every day.

Sad to say, but that's what professors do. You either limp away or you find that you can't help but believe in yourself to the point of delusionality.

Then you've got smurf professors.

Man, I've been meaning to post in this thread for a while, but I just don't often know what to say to help out people who are facing problems. Heck, I don't even take the advice people give me for my own. A few thoughts though...

It seems like most of the rough times people are talking about here are caused by academic stress, to which I say: why let this happen? You/your parents aren't paying $????? per year so you can be miserable. Obviously college requires a lot of hard work and is going to kick your ass sometimes, but you're there because you want to learn, right? Don't take 15 lab classes at once. Don't feel like you have to be doing grueling research with all your spare time. And most of all, don't worry if your grades aren't perfect. Last term I took a pretty hard course load with the expectation that I'd get mostly Bs and maybe a C or two. I suspect I actually did better than I would have if I'd been stressing out trying to get As all term.

I know that it's not nearly as simple as "just chill and it'll all be good"; I'm not trying to take your problems lightly, and I definitely don't have a great record on keeping good work habits or not stressing out. But as a former Decathlete, I always try to remember that learning should be enjoyable, and if it isn't, it might be time to re-evaluate how you want to spend your energy.

There are many ways of "teaching" out there in the big, bad world, and some of them tend to demolish self esteem. Sometimes having your self-esteem demolished is good (if you're too full of yourself) and this is why some professors use this approach (and some professors just like putting people down, which isn't so good). A lot of kids go to college thinking they already know everything, and professors get tired of that attitude, and so they feel it's their job to demolish you, and so on.

The facts usually are that you're not as good as you thought you were and you're not as bad as they're telling you you are, if that makes sense. If you're in college to learn, then try to separate from this emotionally and not take it personally. You're going to run into a lot of people that will say a lot of things that hurt your feelings and make you feel down, and it doesn't really matter to you why these people (professors, in this case) are saying these things. They're not going to be your best friends for life, so look at it analytically instead of emotionally (I know, hard to do at times). I had a really hard time in school (those many decades ago) when I was sad (about whatever), and one of the big things that I have learned about life is that you have to work hard and produce no matter how you feel, happy or sad, up or down, because that's just how life is. I need to be a good dad to my kids, and a good husband to my wife, and a good son to my mom, and a good teacher to my students, and I need to do a good job to support my family, etc., and nobody cares if I'm having a good day or a bad day (emotionally) if I'm not doing my job (either as a dad, husband, son, teacher, or employee). That's been the biggest epiphany for me in life--show up, work hard, don't give up (rinse, repeat). Good day, bad day, good year, bad year--that's the constant refrain that keeps me going. Life's like a roller coaster (not chocolates); it's going to go up and down, and you either learn to enjoy the ride or all you're doing is waiting to get off.

Competitive schools can also have lots more stress... and lots more perfessers that like to weed out with being meanies.

More stress, maybe, but I think "weeding out" is a much more common practice at state universities that have enormous classes full of deadbeats. Selective schools "weed out" in the admissions process, not in class. Most professors here are quite friendly, helpful, and assume the best of you...though of course they inevitably take you down a notch sometimes.

Eh, not true at Duke. Orgo is a weeder class. Econ 51 (lowest level for econ majors) and 55 to a lesser extent are weeder classes. Math 103 (multivariable) is a weeder class. There are a lot of weeder classes here for more popular majors.

Yeah, I think economics is a bit more like that at Dartmouth since it's such a popular major. Math, not really.

On acadecker's point...I don't quite agree with the idea that if you're having emotional or self-esteem problems you need to just suck it up and push through. Of course you don't want to let the people in your life down, but there's a certain point where it's time to at least recalibrate your situation. Then again, I am one of those young'uns who maybe just haven't learned how to tough it out yet.

What do you do when you feel sick with everything

Escape into music or a book. Like, not just listen or read but allow yourself to be absorbed inside it and feel it resound within you.
Or, if it helps, imagine a different world where everything you're sick with is vanished. I usually use the world of Lord of the Rings, envision myself placed in that world, and daydream about what it is I would do, really just put all my consciousness in that other world.

Pick up a book and not put it down until it's finished. Or, since usually it's 3am when I feel like that, I go for a walk and just listen to the ambient noise.

Go to a pawn shop and pick up some cheap CDs.

I got two for FREE yesterday. Guy just said, "take 'em!" Life is good!

Do something you're awesome at to make yourself feel better.